BlogYYY
13.3.10,7:14 AM
is so hard to let go. i miss him.
i still trying really hard to not think about it..
but is so hard can?
my heart aches & my tears drop every now & then...
i kept digging friends out to keep me accompanied...
but still, i cant forget about it...
ytd someone told me something that makes me feel super duper upset.
i hopes that the person didnt tell me lo.
maybe at least i feel better?
but know the truth also good la...
at least i know he is doing far much better than me..
hais...
i reach home not long ago...
now my everyday life is exactly the same as 1 yr ago...
out during the noon until next day morning so home wash up then if cant slp then wait until afternoon dig ppl out again until next morning...
since the break up, i haven lie on my bed until now...
im so afraid of lying on the bed...
cos i know i confirm think of him de...
this break up is more worse than the previous one...
i 1st time never slp for more than 2 days almost 3...
1st time never eat for whole 2 days...
totally got no mood at all!
hais, now feeling extreme super sad la!
12.3.10,1:51 AM
everything ended jus like that...
i dont think i should say it here...
cos we quarrelled over my previous post...
well...
we broke up.
i still cant let go...
i love him so much...
yet he can say break jiu break without a bit of sadness in his voice...
i felt so... hurted...
i tried talking nicely to him... i tried begging yet it doesnt help...
so...
i tihnk this time he really giving me up...
he really meant that he dont love me anymore...
is so hard to let go...
so hard to forget...
so much memories...
our 1 yrs anni is on 15th march...
hais...
too bad, is my fault for not cherish him...
everything is too late le...
no more turning back for me le...
he is leaving me for good, forever....
i love him, deep in my heart, i still miss him...
i hope he left me then he can concentrate well in his studies...
i know is beocs of me that his studies become like this...
well... im sure of it, becos is he tell me de...
so i hope he will use this good chance to study hard for his future...
i hope he choose to leave me is a good decision for him ba...
so that he can study well...
lastly, i only wan to tell him :
baby, i love eu...
i know nth else i say will make eu change eur decision le...
but jus wan to let eu know that,
the past 1 yr, i really enjoyed those happy times with eu...
thanks for showing me so much love & care...
i love you!
10.3.10,5:45 PM
upset :(
im so down again :(
hais.
sososo many things happen can?
this whole week he is too busy for me :(
tot wan watch movie but...
too bad.
hais.
i ytd found out that he still contact the girl which he promised me not to (unless for impt matters)
there's nth else i can say.
i jus wan to ren...
ren ren ren ren until i cannot ren liao then i make that decision ba.
now jus try to keep going out with my friends to make me forget everything!
jus now his friends tried to make fun of me.
they used his phone & texted me.
' im very horny rite now le lap po...'
when i saw it i alr confirm not baby send de.
i jitao reply ' _|_ who the fuck are eu? '
then they still continue fucking ard ' baby la... eu like that also wan angry...'
hais. im so fucking irritated can?
i today alr extreme no mood liao yet they still wan play such things.
i jitao call & then baby ans say is his friends do le...
he was saying sorry to me & yet at the same time laughing away too.
FUCK?
so he thinks that it is funny too?
hais wadever i got so pissed off & sended him a msg telling his friends that not happy come straight find me dont step 1 behind the phone.
then he replied said the friend say sorry to me.
pls la... sorry got cure?
i told the friend say if i stab eur gf le then say sorry got cure?
then he told me say he only send the msg not he write de.
pls la...
5yrs old also know that if eu follow the robber go rob but eu din rob, eu think police will catch eu not?
retarded!
then baby sided them as i expected...
he told me dont go too far.
as if is my fault that it started.
i speechless again lo.
used to it le...
i must ren also.
1 yr de anni coming liao...
i dont wan to quarrel over such things anymore.
i will try my very best to maintain this relationship...
7.3.10,4:16 PM
im so down down down down down!
back posting again~
this few days was so sucks la!
quarrelled with him until he wan to break up :(
he say is becos of my attitude, becos i cry easily & becos im a smoker.
anyway he said he give me the ans the next day.
end up we didnt break lo.
wadever, this alr over.
i tot things will be better for us alr.
but NO im wrong.
ytd we quarrelled again~
i morning go his place find him then he say he dont wan where to go.
i say i wan play pool.
mybe we can go timah.
then he say 2 person play very sian so he go ask his chun.
then end up call guangrui & tingjun also.
but we went bugis instead.
i tot we wan to play pool de.
who knows we ended up in the arcade until 9.30pm.
i was like..... 'fuck?!'
then finally go pool liao.
i played ard 3rounds i think.
then they say wan close le.
need to catch last transport.
=.-
at that time, baby was playing his psp,
tingjun listening his music,
guangui & chun still at table.
then they say wan close table yet no one go forward to close it.
so i took my wallet & go close the table then baby came forward to scold me!
did i do wrong?
wadever, he scold me saying why should i pay?
i was like.... 'say close de is eu all yet not moving de is eu all so i go close la'
i was pissed off.
but still i gave in & said sorry to him.
then we go mrt lucky still got last train.
but jus now then i pay for the pool i forgot take baby's ez card from the person!
then baby ask me to take train home myself while he go back take the card
i dont wan i insist of pei him go.
then we quarrelled over this.
end up he go take then go take bus himself & i wandered alone at bugis until almost 12 then go take bus.
i ended this quarrel by saying sorry to him & wait for him to cool down lo!
then at night he told me he going cck for soccer with yun feng & co the next day.
then he say he dont wan me go becos he dont wan me to stand under the big big sun waiting for him.
i say i dont mind but he say he mind.
he also say becos chun is not going then no one pei me.
i was like... ' fine, i lan lan liao'
then i stay at home lo.
then jus now call him he say he with chun ltr going soccer with him also.
i speechless.
there's nth else i can say :)
2.3.10,12:15 AM
rotting blog :D
i damn damn damn long nvr blog le~months liao~so many things to say...so many things happened :(happy & sad...so much...firstly i wan to talk about my 18th birthday!i wan to thanks all my brothers & sisters for the celebration of my birthday!&& the most i wan to thank is my jasonsquare!& thanks everyone for making me be merlion the 1st time of my life :Dalso thanks ppl who gave me gifts :D : BABY, blood sister, butterfly, etc :Dlastly, i wan to tell me baby....I LOVE YOU for doing so much for me during my birthday :Dcoming up next, CNY!gosh, my this year de luck jitao is CMI!lost :(sian de lo...lucky still got left hongbao money for some shopping :Dlastly.... after so much things that happen over this few months....i finally know who love me the best other than my own family....there is only 2 person!BABY & JASON LIOW!hehes.both of them can always makes me smile no matter wad :Dso... i wana say i LOVE them!but love baby more :D