i still trying really hard to not think about it..
but is so hard can?
my heart aches & my tears drop every now & then...
i kept digging friends out to keep me accompanied...
but still, i cant forget about it...

ytd someone told me something that makes me feel super duper upset.
i hopes that the person didnt tell me lo.
maybe at least i feel better?
but know the truth also good la...
at least i know he is doing far much better than me..
hais...

i reach home not long ago...
now my everyday life is exactly the same as 1 yr ago...
out during the noon until next day morning so home wash up then if cant slp then wait until afternoon dig ppl out again until next morning...
since the break up, i haven lie on my bed until now...
im so afraid of lying on the bed...
cos i know i confirm think of him de...
this break up is more worse than the previous one...
i 1st time never slp for more than 2 days almost 3...
1st time never eat for whole 2 days...
totally got no mood at all!
hais, now feeling extreme super sad la!


i dont think i should say it here...
cos we quarrelled over my previous post...
well...

we broke up.

i still cant let go...
i love him so much...
yet he can say break jiu break without a bit of sadness in his voice...
i felt so... hurted...
i tried talking nicely to him... i tried begging yet it doesnt help...
so...
i tihnk this time he really giving me up...
he really meant that he dont love me anymore...

is so hard to let go...
so hard to forget...
so much memories...
our 1 yrs anni is on 15th march...
hais...
too bad, is my fault for not cherish him...
everything is too late le...
no more turning back for me le...
he is leaving me for good, forever....

i love him, deep in my heart, i still miss him...
i hope he left me then he can concentrate well in his studies...
i know is beocs of me that his studies become like this...
well... im sure of it, becos is he tell me de...
so i hope he will use this good chance to study hard for his future...
i hope he choose to leave me is a good decision for him ba...
so that he can study well...

lastly, i only wan to tell him :

baby, i love eu...
i know nth else i say will make eu change eur decision le...
but jus wan to let eu know that,
the past 1 yr, i really enjoyed those happy times with eu...
thanks for showing me so much love & care...
i love you!


im so down again :(
hais.
sososo many things happen can?
this whole week he is too busy for me :(
tot wan watch movie but...
too bad.

hais.
i ytd found out that he still contact the girl which he promised me not to (unless for impt matters)
there's nth else i can say.
i jus wan to ren...
ren ren ren ren until i cannot ren liao then i make that decision ba.
now jus try to keep going out with my friends to make me forget everything!

jus now his friends tried to make fun of me.
they used his phone & texted me.
' im very horny rite now le lap po...'
when i saw it i alr confirm not baby send de.
i jitao reply ' _|_ who the fuck are eu? '
then they still continue fucking ard ' baby la... eu like that also wan angry...'
hais. im so fucking irritated can?
i today alr extreme no mood liao yet they still wan play such things.

i jitao call & then baby ans say is his friends do le...
he was saying sorry to me & yet at the same time laughing away too.
FUCK?
so he thinks that it is funny too?
hais wadever i got so pissed off & sended him a msg telling his friends that not happy come straight find me dont step 1 behind the phone.
then he replied said the friend say sorry to me.
pls la... sorry got cure?
i told the friend say if i stab eur gf le then say sorry got cure?
then he told me say he only send the msg not he write de.
pls la...
5yrs old also know that if eu follow the robber go rob but eu din rob, eu think police will catch eu not?
retarded!

then baby sided them as i expected...
he told me dont go too far.
as if is my fault that it started.
i speechless again lo.
used to it le...
i must ren also.

1 yr de anni coming liao...
i dont wan to quarrel over such things anymore.
i will try my very best to maintain this relationship...


back posting again~
this few days was so sucks la!
quarrelled with him until he wan to break up :(
he say is becos of my attitude, becos i cry easily & becos im a smoker.
anyway he said he give me the ans the next day.
end up we didnt break lo.
wadever, this alr over.

i tot things will be better for us alr.
but NO im wrong.
ytd we quarrelled again~
i morning go his place find him then he say he dont wan where to go.
i say i wan play pool.
mybe we can go timah.
then he say 2 person play very sian so he go ask his chun.
then end up call guangrui & tingjun also.
but we went bugis instead.
i tot we wan to play pool de.
who knows we ended up in the arcade until 9.30pm.
i was like..... 'fuck?!'
then finally go pool liao.
i played ard 3rounds i think.
then they say wan close le.
need to catch last transport.
=.-
at that time, baby was playing his psp,
tingjun listening his music,
guangui & chun still at table.
then they say wan close table yet no one go forward to close it.
so i took my wallet & go close the table then baby came forward to scold me!
did i do wrong?
wadever, he scold me saying why should i pay?
i was like.... 'say close de is eu all yet not moving de is eu all so i go close la'
i was pissed off.
but still i gave in & said sorry to him.
then we go mrt lucky still got last train.
but jus now then i pay for the pool i forgot take baby's ez card from the person!
then baby ask me to take train home myself while he go back take the card
i dont wan i insist of pei him go.
then we quarrelled over this.
end up he go take then go take bus himself & i wandered alone at bugis until almost 12 then go take bus.
i ended this quarrel by saying sorry to him & wait for him to cool down lo!

then at night he told me he going cck for soccer with yun feng & co the next day.
then he say he dont wan me go becos he dont wan me to stand under the big big sun waiting for him.
i say i dont mind but he say he mind.
he also say becos chun is not going then no one pei me.
i was like... ' fine, i lan lan liao'
then i stay at home lo.
then jus now call him he say he with chun ltr going soccer with him also.
i speechless.
there's nth else i can say :)


i damn damn damn long nvr blog le~
months liao~
so many things to say...
so many things happened :(
happy & sad...
so much...

firstly i wan to talk about my 18th birthday!
i wan to thanks all my brothers & sisters for the celebration of my birthday!
&& the most i wan to thank is my jasonsquare!
& thanks everyone for making me be merlion the 1st time of my life :D
also thanks ppl who gave me gifts :D : BABY, blood sister, butterfly, etc :D

lastly, i wan to tell me baby....
I LOVE YOU for doing so much for me during my birthday :D

coming up next, CNY!
gosh, my this year de luck jitao is CMI!
lost :(
sian de lo...

lucky still got left hongbao money for some shopping :D

lastly.... after so much things that happen over this few months....
i finally know who love me the best other than my own family....
there is only 2 person!
BABY & JASON LIOW!
hehes.
both of them can always makes me smile no matter wad :D
so... i wana say i LOVE them!
but love baby more :D


jus now went out to meet ahlim 1st.
he brought my hamham down!!
hamham look more healthy then mornign that time becos ahlim help hamham bath & wash his wounds.
then we bring hamham pei ahlim go cut hair.
after cutting hair jiu slack around near mac...
awhile ltr we went to my house downstairs de coffeeshop cos ahlim wan eat.
after that jiu slack opp there de void deck.
then ahlim de friend came name... errr...
cockroach in hokkien... ka chua.
lols.
thats his nick la.
then slack until ahliow come pei us...
slack slack slack & went to round table slack.
awhile ltr jurist came & join us.
damn, he is really very bad to my hamham lo.
he go carry hamham then hamham bit him &&& he go throw hamham on the table!
ROARS!

slack until almost 12 jiu go home le...




10th month anni jus passed...
ytd found out that baby lied to me...
he was suppose to go find wesly & friends..
then that time he got msg i ask him is it from wesly they all.
he say ya...
then after that i accidentally see it...
is from that girl again :(
cried like siao can?
he lied to me becos of a girl he know on9.
damn it. im like so worthless to him?
he said that he msg the girl becos he read her blog & found out that the girl got problem with the bf :(
but whenever i got problem i post on blog did he care?
i told he before le...
all guys confirm will do wrong things...
but rmb to clean it up & nvr let ppl find out...
if he wan to lie to me nvr nvr let me find out...
if not jiu tell me truthfully.

i rather eu tell me honestly i upset a lil.
or nvr nvr let me found out...

wadever, i got so upset & he tell me that last night he wan ton.
hais so wad can i do?
speechless...

thanks god that i will have my JL3 :D
jason lim ; jason liow ; johnson low :D
i want to meet both jason yet 1 too sick other 1 play dota.
then johnson say he can meet me...
so he pei me go ave 8 transfer money & stuff then go jasonlim house downstairs de fitness corner to slack.
slack until 1am like that then jasonlim came down.
jasonliow came down ard 1.30am.
then 2 plus or so johnson jiu go home le.
left 3 of us AGAIN :D
we when ave 8 watch ahlim eat then jiu go slack back at ahlim house there.
then ahlim say morning 6 plus go home de...
but... :P

we found a cute baby hamster there.
omg a cat was standing behind it almost going to bite it i was like...
chiong ar!!! to scare the cat away then we manage to put the hamster in a basket we found there.
the cute hamster's right leg was injured :(
stupid ahlim&ahliow say put it to feed the cats.
damn them! i wanted to buy some sunflower seeds de...
but run to the stores all say they dont sell.
so i bought plain water for it...
when back then we bring the hamster up to ahlim house.
cos ahlim's sis got pet hamsters :D
then we go up his house take food.
lucky the hamster got eat abit :D
then after that we jiu go home le...
end up ahlim's sis say she will adopt the hamham:D
but ahlim got say the hamham cant survive long :(
sadded :(

morning reached home yawn cannot tahan & i fell aslp on my sofa until jus now afternoon 3pm :P
ltr going out meet ahliow ba...
so bored at home.
din meet baby cos he go out with his friend...
nvm i would learn from him....
friends more impt :D
hehes!
i wan more friends friends friends!!
ROARS!




sch started for 3 days liao.
1st day only go 2 lessons...
2nd day go sch but din go for lesson...
3rd day, i din even go...
find sch so pointless, so boring...

wadever, i even find my life pointless & aimless.
i know i shouldnt think this way...
but... FUCK la i dont know how to change my thinkings!

i tried so hard to control my feelings, holding down my temper...
trying so hard to fulfil everyone...
trying so hard not to be so over sensitive & jealous easily...

sometimes i feel like giving up..
but yet at the same time i cant bear to leave my loved ones.
day by day i feel more & more like dying...
i feel like im going crazy very soon.

WHO CAN FUCKING UNDERSTAND MY FEELINGS???!!!

FUCK THAT GOD THAT BRING ME TO THIS FUCKING BLOODY WORLD!!!

FUCK EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME UPSET!!!


its been so fucking long since i last posted.
hais~
went to LA & vegas for 2 weeks~
back & found out so many things has changed...
so many things as happened...
sososo many things...
ppl that i love, all changed.

anyway i spend christmas with baby.

last few days kept ton-ing away.
last night too...
& becos of it, quarrelled with baby.
since when our love became so fragile?
i wonder...

jus becos i din reply?
or becos i last min say wan ton?
but when he did those things did i say so much?
wadever.
he said he dont feel like meeting me today...
so...
kill time myself.
wait until he wan meet then meet ba.
jus 1 call, i will be there.
jus 1 word i will shoo far far away.

wondering should i go & jus take a look at him for a sec at a dist?
everyone say i should not.
but my heart cant bear to :(
why i love him so much?
why everytime in a r/s i had to go through so much pain :(
why being a fucking woof still he is not satisfied?
i wonder... wad should i do?

should i go back to the past.
being a woof?
brothers & sisters says no.
but my heart tells me that if i do, maybe he will be happier.
& we will have less quarrels.
brother told me that if 1 day i cant take it anymore i should let go...
but i really dont wan to...
i believe i can endure it de...
i can alr fucking endure that jerk for 2 whole yrs why cant i endure now?
anyway he is diff from the jerk, i believe we can last long.
if i wan to.
i will only go away if he asks me to...
i will only let go if he throw me away :(
i wonder ... will he?

he said that he cant give me a lot.
did i expect a lot?
i guess i did...
i wan to see him EVERYDAY.
but i dont mind travelling all alone to find him & jus seeing him for 1 sec & go home myself.
even seeing him at a dist without letting him know.
will it trouble him a lot?
i jus dont wan him to hong.
is it hard?
can eu believe that eur bf can tell eu go hong & he dont mind?
i wonder... im i his gf?

last night i cried at the playground while talking to him.
look up & saw HDB.
i tot of death.
damn, i dont know why i feel like dying so much everytime i quarrelled with him.
the pain... something that words cant express.
it is worse than stabbing eu in the heart.
last night i had a urge to see my blood drip off myself.
jus a urge, i didnt do anything at all.
jus a almost.

friends friends friends.
is friends more impt?
i think so ba.
none of them ever make my heart hurt so much.
they always manage to cheer me up.
they are always there.
he make my tears flow.
they always make them stop.

i felt so bastard.
i rmb brother said that i always with boyfriend.
i felt so guilty.
all my brothers treat me so good.
not to say brothers, even my friends.
i wont forget them...
they always stand by me.
always help me up whenever i fall.
always dry my tears when i cry.

still rmb last week.
becos i was feeling a bit down.
so drag jason lim & jason liow to ton with me.
&&& they treat me to damn good.
sponser me fishes & prawns.
eat & drink.
everything i say that they could afford :D
i 'kidnap' them for 12 hours.
& cos they is kinda 'willing' la :D

friends friends friends.
i should learn a bit from him.
friends are impt.
maybe much more than own boyfr or girlfr.
but i know, i will nvr learn la!
everyone who knows me know it.
i love my boyfr more than i love myself.
i wonder... when he will turn back & say i love you?

my love turns sour.
should i dispose this sour sour love?

NEVER NEVER NEVER will i dispose it!
i will i will say but i nvr did it :D
my love for him is so deep.
i love you.


today many things happened~
got happy things, got unhappy things.

finally know how ppl think about me.
feeling so lost...
speechless~

there's always a chance~
make the mistake once, can be forgive & forget.
make it twice, can be forgive but yet learn to change.
thrice, it shall be the last chance.


it is not when a person make the mistake once & eu have the rights to sentence him/her a death sentence!
everyone, every living things deserve a chance. maybe not more than 1 but at least 1...


so eu this fking asshole, nvr judge a person or sentenced him/her becos of 1 mistake.
human will make mistake.
jus like eu made mistake too.
go think about how eu make use of ppl's kindness~
go think about how eur friends helped eu through when eu are broke?
go think about why eur friends gave in to eu without agruing with eu?
after this thing, eu seriously changed my impression of eu in my mind~
eu are simply a sucker!
asshole la!

anyway stop about those bad stuffs~
good stuffs coming up ~

today went sentosa with baby & friends :D
had a great day :D
but i got sun burn :(
until very very very jialat :(
sososo sian~
go sentosa play the whole day until evening time we all go vivo eat kfc :D
yummy!!
went home quite late :P




today kind of tired, so i woke up late~
reach sch at 10.30am, so me & butterfly go cafe3 eat breakfast :D
finish breakfast go lecture, after that break, so we go pool :D
after pool, so for WFB then last lesson ca nvr come so after WFB we jiu go off le~
together with beng, we 3 took bus24 back to amk & alighted at butterfly's house there.
butterfly pei me & beng wait for bus853, after we board, she went home :D
then we take until yishun & went walk walk awhile :D
walk until baby finish sch then beng go take bus home i go bus stop wait for baby to come :D

he reached, we mrt-ed back to bishan & go walk walk there :D
today i finally got my phone line le :D
happy liao :D
then go back his place & his aunt cook dinner for us :D
yummy !!

then finish we jiu go back room use com & chatted :D
baby send me to amk at ard 9 plus~
reached home at 10.30pm :D




today go sch for awhile, then sch ended.
took bus back to amk with butterfly & adrian.
from there i change 853 to yishun to take bus to baby's sch~
went into his sch find him & waited for him at the basketball court~
when he finished, we go take bus to change mrt back to bishan~
go his place slacked, use com & had dinner~
had great fun until night he send me to amk~
reached home at 11pm~




many things happened the last few days when i din post~
good & bad~

recently got a gan-nuer from baby named dorin~
met up with her & her bf,desmond the day be4 to bugis for a walk~
nth much happen on the day~
jus that i start to learn pool again!
baby teach me play de!!
& baby also bought me a black satin shorts :)

then ytd when hougang mall with baby to pei nuer for lunch~
then we went pooling with her & her another friend.
then ltr jason & siru came to join us~
i went off at 6pm for a dinner with my family~
yummy!
sososo full :)
reached home at 9.30pm but i go out meet jason, siru & jy until midnight 1am~
baby was so angry~
duibuqi baby!
muackz!

today morning woke up at 11am++
then prepared & ask granduncle to drive me to baby's place!
then reached, went up & his aunt was about to leave for work.
& after that i had lunch at his place with him & his mother :D
hmm the food is good but i nvr ate much due to my ulcer & sore throat :(

finish eating then we went back room to use com & wait for baby to prepare before we left home to bishan inter there to let baby cut hair.
&&& before leaving home, baby took alot of pics of me & i took alot myself too :P
today baby nvr take pic with me becos he say he din wax his hair =.-
lame excuse~

left house ; cut hair then we meet chun & naomi at bishan & took mrt down to somerset~
1st stop, MANGO!
baby bought me 2 basic tees!
1 short sleeve & 1 long sleeve :D
look simple but i love it!
becos is from baby!
after that we left there & took train down to bugis for steamboat :D
oh my tian arr!!
sososososo damn it full!
eat until like siao sia~
anyway finish eating at 8+ & we when for a walk at junction :)
baby bought me MUJI de milk tea :D
then we also go see see watches & stuff~
din buy anything else le~

left bugis at 10pm~
reached home ard 10.30pm~
actually baby wanted to send me until serangoon only~
but i say i wan him to send me to hougang~
end up i still give in & say nvm lo~
he then he alr insist to send me back home~
i asked him why & he replied :
jus wan to pei eu longer & also quite long din send eu home le.
i almost faint when i hear this...
i felt so happy la!

up next...

PICTURES!









today morning overslept but still got go sch~
skipped last lesson & pei butterfly take bus 24 back to amk~
she then pei me wait for 853 to yishun~
after that i from there changed bus 811 to baby's sch there.
waited awhile my phone flat liao =.-
damn it!
so i sit there wait & wait & wait until 1 hr ++ he then come out~
but then is ok la... cos ytd he also wait for me :)
actually i dont mind waiting for him...
but is that my phone flat so i scare he go off without telling me :(
but lucky didnt lo :)
meet him le then we took bus to change mrt to cck :)

reached lot 1 before chun reach so we 2 go m1 shop see see.
asked about the white jet phone~
still have come out for m1 yet :(

after that when chun reach we jiu go up food court eat pepper lunch :)
after eating then wait for naomi come then we go popular buy baby's pen.
then go down mac slack until benji came.
then slack awhile more jiu go subway there pei naomi eat & baby bought me cookies!
awhile ltr benji left 1st & we waited for connie to come & chatted until 9.30pm then go buy sushi!
bought sushi then me & baby left 1st~
took mrt to amk then baby pei me wait for bus he jiu go home le!
reached home before 11pm.

i really dont know wad's wrong with me...
dont know is only this week or wad...
i jus suddenly felt happy & awhile ltr became sad.
mood swings?
if it is, this is the worse mood swing i ever had~
those mood swings are killing me.
i dont know who to turn to anymore.
him?her?they?them?who?
im lost, im so damn lost...




din post for the last few days...
many things happened~

friday :

baby & benji&pohyi came simei for pool~
until 4 like that we go eat at cafe1~
then go took mrt down to town to meet the rest~
walked ard town until night then baby send me home~
suppose to go home & slp & next day go bugis with baby de.
then on the way back home saw my mom & quarrelled with her~
lols.
so i went up with baby to my house took so clothes & go down take cab to baby's place to stay over for a night~


saturday :

suppose to leave house at 2pm ++
but we stay at home lazy to go out until 5+ like that we go take bus to change mrt~
when in mrt, naomi called & jio us go town again~
so we took mrt & stopped at somerset~
we pei naomi go robinson to find her things~
after that we go mac eat!
eat half way & chun came to join us :)
after eating we go walk walk ard~
then tot of playing pool but no table!
then we walk until a new shop then open to let ppl catch toytoy de!
baby changed 7bucks to try~
try until 6th dollar still din get.
so baby tried the last 1... & with that 1 dollar, he caught 2 toytoy for me!!!
2 golden doraemons :)
sososo happy la!
this is the 1st time someone ever caught me a toytoy :)
& also baby's 1st time that caught 2 toytoy with 1 credit!

after that we left there to parklane for pool.
watch them play pool then after that 10.30pm left there to take mrt back to hougang :)
baby sent me home...




morning went sch afternoon...
finished sch st. go take mrt to tiong bahru meet baby & friends to take my cheque~
after drop cheque then go eat mac with baby :)
eat finish jiu go take mrt back to bishan :)
go baby's place to use com & stuff~


celebrated our 7th mth with cooking dinner together :)
this is 1st time i cook a salmon :P
& the result... taste absolutely delicious :)
crispy on the outside & soft in the inside :)


after that we chatted & use com until night then baby send my down to cab home :)




today loads of things happen!
1st, din went sch becos i overslept, & i quarrelled with my mom before go out.
so i went baby's place find him~
sososo tired so i sleep awhile at his place, ard 1 hour+
then he wake me up & we had lunch together :)
yummy!
today lunch is delicious!
2 bowl of rice each with : curry fish & salmon!
although both is fish but... I LOVE FISH!
hahas~
had a full full lunch then back to room & chatted.
kinda unhappy about somethings~
but anyway we talk thing out~

after that baby cheer me up & abuse me!!!
hahas
he throw me on the bed jus like those wrestling ppl do !
lols it doesnt hurt but it is fun~
hahas~

today baby had a bad headache :(
dont know why....
it is like on & off~
then he still going cck find his friends, actually i dont wan him to go de.
i scare ltr he headache.
but he wan go so i cannot do anything also :(
anyway now he is safe & sound at home~

then until like 7 plus we left his place to bishan inter.
i meet with jy & his gf, teresa~
cos wg went off le~
then baby go take mrt to cck~
i then pei them~
tried to talk to her but damn, she gave me attitude~
gl with me also!
i damn angry lo~
anyway after that manage to make her go home so we go take mrt together.
on mrt i sit alone while they 2 sit together~
then we alighted at city hall to change then suddenly theresa okok liao~
lols. at 1st attitude me then suddenly ok liao~
dont know wad jy say to her~
anyway after that we chatted about our plan~
& send her back home!
reached her place then the mother say go downstair to talk~
chatted until almost 12 with the mother then finally everything settled~
then we go take cab back to hougang~

home sweet home~




long story today~
so many things happened & i dont know how to start it too.
jus that...
im tired, i really do.
hurt so much when the whole world dont understand eu.

baby told me that i had to try to change my attitude toward brothers...
but thats the way i am & this has been for yrs.
my heart felt so painful.
i admit that i appear to be kind of bad to them.
but i believe in their heart they understand.
no matter how harsh i treat them, whenever they had problem i will try my very best to help them.
can anyone in this world understand me?

this hurt me so much that i hate myself.
damn.




overslept today :(
cos last night slept at 4am though i lie on my bed at 2plus =.-
suppose to meet butterfly at 8.30am =.-
& i woke up at 9.30am =.-
lucky my granduncle at my place~
then he fetch me to sch :)
i reached sch in 20mins time :)
i even reach earlier than butterfly they all~
wait for them to come then go up class together.
after class go to pool centre then stay there until very long & missed our lecture~
then after that go for another class =.-
even more boring!
then last class, my ca's lesson =.-
cannot run de :(
& we late for her lesson for 30mins~
lols.
kan kan kan!!!
sianz =.-
ended sch early with bad mood!
dont ask me why!

left sch & it was raining so took bus31 to change bus24~
reached amk & slack with butterfly until night time~
go point meet jy for awhile~
then he pei me took bus72 & i alighted at my place while he took until tamp go find gf~

reached home less than 30mins~
wg came my place find me~
pei me go down talk talk~
then we go eat fries :)
yummy!

after that he send me back & HOMESWEETHOME :)

brother wg!
thanks for being there for whenever i need eu :)
even though day or night!
eu're one of the best ! :)

brother jy!
thanks for everything eu done too!




today morning baby call & wake me up.
then i stay at home use com awhile the prepared & my granduncle send me to baby's place.
before going up i go buy cheese fries & bubbletea :)
baby was kinda surprised when i called & ask him to open the door :)

anyway, had great fun there.
watched him dota & i use com also!

evening time then he go cook dinner :)
yummy!!
had my fav salmon!!
hehes~

finished dinner then we rest awhile & use com until night time baby go bath & prepared.
9+ left house & bused to mrt & trained to hougang.
baby then send me home :)




had great fun for the pass few days :)
baby treat me so good even when i throw tantrums :P
dont know why suddenly he so good, but anyway i love it :)

had too much fun that i din post last few days.
today morning woke up prepared then cab to baby's place becos my ankle hurts.
then after that stay at his place with chun & guangrui.
ard 6+ go take bus to bishan inter to meet naomi then we trained down to town :)
went far east to eat :)
yummy so nice lo, thanks to naomi's recommendation :)
after that pei baby go down to buy his 'XXL chicken'
then we walk to ion to shop shop~
things are sososo expensive :P
anyway went to muji & bought my milktea!
wanted to buy the pancake de, but sold out :(
sadded.
after that we slacked inside ion until 10 like that then me & baby go take train & the rest to far east.
today baby din send me home, beocs he very tired!
so he take mrt with me until serangoon he alight to change circle line while i take to hougang.
reached home before 11pm :)

tmr going to baby's place to help him with his project * actually is to disturb him *
hehes!




last night whole night din slp until morning 6plus.
woke up at 5pm + in the evening...
rot at home for awhile then i go up shawn's house find him :)
pei him for awhile then wg came to join us.
we 3 together walk until mrt there then shawn go off...
while me & wg go take 161 to woodland.
damn, the bus is sososo cold lo.
took very long before it reach woodland.
after that we go change to mrt to cck.
go lot 1 there meet wg's uncle...
tot only he 1 person, end up he bring his children along...
i so damn ps lo..
but nvm still join him, then he treat us go eat sakae :)
yummy so full lo...
after that chat awhile the me & wg go take mrt back to yck there to change bus 72.
then took to ave 8 there & walk to find liang & their friend, ping.
after that we slack awhile then jy came...
slack awhile more then we all send liang home, & her friend also go home.
me,wg,jy took bus 325 then wg alight at his house there.
jy came my place...
he din go home tonight & ton at my place...
ltr morning i going point with him to find hongrui then maybe slack awhile then i go home...
cos afternoon still got work...




last night cant slp until morning 5plus then slp.
woke up at 1 plus prepared then go to baby's place.
reach his place & he still slping =.-
after awhile he jiu wake up le =.-
then open door for me...
after that he play dota i play l4d...
night time ard 7plus we go down buy bubbletea & wafer & cheese fries...
yummy~
then go back his place eat & use com until 10plus he send me down to take cab.
reached home at 11plus~
wg is coming to find me ltr...

& today is wg, my brother's 17th birthday!
wg, 17 liao...
hope eu know how to think before eu talk hor!
& really thanks for those times when i really need eu
& eu confirm come find me de!!
anyway meet me often ok?




last night din slp.
morning took bus to meet baby the go eat breakfast at mac.
then after that go to his place.
hais long story...
im so going crazy le.

left his place at 9plus to j8 to buy things.
after that he send me back home by mrt.
reached home, 10plus~




last night i din slp until morning 5am ++
then i woke up at 5pm + today.
had a bad dream :(
called baby then stay at home use com...
until ard 7plus meet siru for less than 10mins~
then she go liao =.-
damn, so i meet jasonlim & his gf.
slacked awhile then their friends came so i go meet alvintoh.
slack with him awhile the jy came so he off home prepared to go camp.
then i slacked with jy until 9 like that i pei him go wait for bus.
after that i jiu go home le.
sianz =.-
today quite bored...
tmr meeting baby le!
i miss him so much can?
hais.




27th sep :

suppose to wake up at 9am then too tired.
& today got work at 1pm~
end up din go work.
cos ytd i drink abit too much than wad i can take it.
so hahas din go work.
baby also din go work...
yawns, i woke up at 3plus in the afternoon.
i dk baby woke up at wad time but i only know he wake up much earlier than me.
i rmb him kept trying to wake me up but.. hahas *oink*
after i woke up we both use com until ltr ard 5plus eat our breakfast+lunch+dinner.
then go back use com until at night ard 8plus we left there.
cab to hougang then baby go take mrt to cck to find his friends.
while i go bbq, for my brother birthday de.
eat abit there cos i quite full.
then say bye to all my relatives then i go home eat mango cake!!
yummy!

then use com...
until 12plus i go meet shawn pei him to ave 8 for his supper.
i din eat but he treat me a ice milo :)
then we slacked & chatted awhile before walking home.
he send me back 1st then he jiu go home le.
reached home at 1am plus.



26th sep :

morning woke up went kovan there eat breakfast with family.
then go home prepared to go work~
today not alot of customers~
anyway finish work at 9pm & cousins they all came to find me~
so i talk to them until 9.30pm then i go take mrt to batok to find baby & his friends.
in the train, i was so damn angry lo!
a crazy man in his 40's came to step me purposely before he alighted!
damn it, so painful lo!
anyway i called to baby & complain to him!!

when i reach batok, jus right baby came to fetch me.
then we together walk to the place to find the rest.
walk half-way then going to reach liao then baby piggyback me to there!!
hahas so damn fun lo!

reach there hear them sing then drink abit then awhile ltr baby & chunyong go pool.
i din go i pei the rest there listen to them sing.
they force me to sing too!!
hahas i so malu la!
cos my singing suck to the core!

anyway sang then naomi bring me to go find baby & chunyong.
pei them play pool awhile then we go back.
had great fun then after that we total got 10 ppl then we split to 2 cabs take to some coffeeshop which i dont know where=.-
slacked there some eat & some drink~
after that chat awhile then jiu go home le.
me & baby cab from there to bishan & the fare is ard $20 =.-
counted as cheap le ba...
then we bathed & had candlelight before sleeping at 6am in the morning.




last night meet up with shawn at 4am =.-
we chatted until 5plus he then go home~
after that i nvr talk much with baby he jiu go slp le :(
i morning 7plus then slp..
then i woke up at 4 in the afternoon.
baby say afternoon meeting me de so i wake up jiu call him.
but... he say he meet his teacher :(
sadded anyway i spend my time at home until baby come back to meet me at 6.30pm~
we went to venus for l4d :)
played for 2hours then baby send me back home.
reached home before 10pm~

today go out din spend much, played 2 hours, eat & drink together we spend $10++
i wan to pass baby so money but he dont wan take :(
but he nvr notice that i actually put 4bucks into his wallet :P

tmr got work :(
so sian lo!!
then dont know whether baby got time to come pei me go lunch a not~

today is my precious brother, BENJAMIN's 10yrs old birthday :)
i wish he can recover & be back as normal!
ben, i miss the times when eu call me jiejie, when eu squat down & insist that i carry eu!
i promise, as long as eu can recover, dont matter wad eu wan i will try my very best to fufil it!
ben, jiejie love you :)




today woke up at 2plus thanks to brendan's call =.-
then i called baby let him know~
after that i on9 & also called jason to ask him to meet to slack.
then i ard 6plus like that go down meet alvin 1st~
slack until 8 like that then go meet jason~
awhile ltr jy came~
we slacked until 9.30pm like that then go home le~
today so bored :(
nvr meet baby also :(
damn miss him~
tmr going meet him ba :)




last night din slp~
then ard morning 6am plus cabbed to baby's place.
used com & slept until 11plus wake up~
prepared & we cabbed down to bishan with his mom & aunt.
waited for their friend & the daughter to come then we all took mrt down to town~
alighted at somerset then walk to orchard central de ' ah yi tian xia ' restaurant to eat.
yummy but the food is so expensive!
the abalone so ex!
i had the pork cutlet rice w/o the abalone while baby had the chicken cutlet rice w/o the abalone.
the price diff or with abalone & w/o is $7++
means 1 small abalone is $7++ so ex lo!
anyway me & baby din order the 1 with abalone!
finished the meal & the price for 6 ppl is $200++

after eating we walk walk ard there & baby bought me a new ez-link card holder!
winnie the pooh de, got shiny shiny also :)
& aim a handphone pouch!
is damn damn damn chio lo is bling bling & got studs de.
cost $15.90 wor...
after i buy new phone i must go back there to buy the pouch!
we walk until tangs there & bought baby's slippers & shoes then his mom jiu go work le.
then their friend & the daughter went off.
so baby's aunt, baby & me we go to amk together.
help baby's mom to buy things then we go take bus back to baby's place.
btw i bought new nail polish also.. is shiny purple :)
reached baby's place then his aunt go home 1st.
while me & baby went to buy bubble tea for her & also bought cheese fries for ourselves :)
at baby's place use com...
he teach me play dota!
quite fun but yet complicated!
i want to train again!!
then play l4d after that we ordered mac delivery.
eat until 11pm then i go back for l4d until 11.30pm like that then go down cabbed home :)
today kept cabbing =.- lols.

tmr baby maybe not going to meet me..
but nvm...
i today enjoy so much!




today woke up by jason at 2plus~
baby suppose to morning me but he din.
this is alr the 3rd time he din morning call he when he say he will.
but she jus said once & he morning call her.
wtf?!

anyway woke up prepared & meet jason to slack awhile until 3plus~
went home waited for baby...
he bought tickets for 7pm de.
but i 5.30pm called him he say he still at dhoby there playing pool.
he still say he will come hougang fetch me before going for movie at amk hub.
hais.

anyway he reached my place at 6plus~
took bus down to amk & jus right go in awhile jiu start le.

watched G force.
the show quite cute lo!
finish the show then we walk walk ard hub jiu go take bus back to hougang.
went to playground there to talk talk.
hais i dont know whether this time still works not.
but i guess not.
im still dont feel loved by him.

he sended me back home by 10plus lo~




lsat night din slp, went out at 4plus.
cabbed to baby's place~
watch him play dota until 6.30am~
we then slp until afternoon 1pm ++
he woke up 1st & accidentally elbowed my back~
he dont even know that he elbowed me & i actually woke up & fake slp.
saw him go on com & i open my eyes & stare at him.
anyway he got shocked when he saw me staring at him.
after that i ask him to on the 2nd com for my to play.
he play dota & i l4d until half-way we both hungry...
so he ask me help him with his dota while he go prepare food...
i dont know how to play jus anyhow lo~
anyway he came back with ice cream instead =.-
i tot he going take so food in that can fill us up =.-
finished ice-cream & his dota then he go prepare lunch~
had lunch then back to room continue his dota & i continue my l4d~
play until evening time we prepared & left house to amk~
he pei me wait for bus then he jiu go off le~
reached home at 10pm today.
then ard 12.30am wg came over to find me & slacked awhile at my place until 1.30am then he go off.

tmr dont know where to go =.-
baby also cannot confirm with me whether bringing me for movie not...
jus becos he dont know whether he going out with his friends not.
wadever, i dont wan to put to much hope in it~
cos normally putting hope in him will bring me great disappointment.
used to it alr.. hais.




damn it!
i got fking toothache :(
sososo painful & unbearable.
last night i kept turn here & there due to the pain.
morning woke up & cannot tahan so go eat a painkiller.
go work that time still ok wont pain.
then work until 6plus wg came to find me, pei me go walk walk.
until 7plus he go off then i work until 9 & my dearest baby surprised me :)
he msg me telling me he still in mrt & next min, he is behind me :)
anyway im happy lo.
hahas, he waited awhile for me then we jiu go off together :)
my baby is so sweet to me today :)
he know i din eat for dinner so he alr tabao chicken rice for me :)
we went to take bus 101 back to round table there to eat.
i shared with him cos i see his eyes kept staring at the rice.
after eating we slack awhile more until 10plus.
he jiu send me back home le.
i miss him so much.

reached home & my toothache started!
damn, i tried to bear with it...
until 12plus, i cannot tahan le!
went to take another painkiller, but this time the pain is still there...
hais if ltr before i go bed still pain then i jiu go eat panodol liao!
hais!! toothache, go away pls?




woke up late.
suppose to meet up with johnson to surprise siru at her place.
but she come over to my house nearby.
so change of plan, i meet johnson at my house here.
johnson came & jason went home to change.
johnson slacked with us for awhile & chat with siru he jiu go off le.
waited for jason to come down then we go take bus to tamp to meet that idiot jy.

reach there & his so called 'gf ' went home =.-
damn it lo. tot can see her de =.-
anyway celebrated for siru with a cake :)
after that the guys go buy 2 bottle of beer back to share.
then we still very curious abt jy's gf.
so we went up her place and called her house phone.
( she dont have a handphone, thats wad she told jy. )
we stand outside her house while calling yet we dont hear any phone ringing.
but then we can see light from her window & can hear a bit of tv de sound.
anyway, i think this so called ' gf ' got problem de..
lols.

then we left there & went over to zijian's place there.
we 4 slacked at playground chat until 10plus we left there.
siru go zijian's house while we 3 go take bus back to hougang.

i reach house ard 11plus~
then at 12plus i go out meet wg until 1plus go home.




told baby to morning call me today again~
& he din again~
dont know why.

woke up at 12plus~
rot at home until 4pm then go meet jason & siru~
slack awhile the go to mall~
siru bought her things then we go pasta mania~
pei siru eat~
after that baby came & joined us~
then we go tabao bubbletea & 1 packet of chicken for baby.
then we go find voideck to slack~
baby had his rice while the 2 of them do homework~
we then chatted until 9plus then baby go home.
we 3 continue to slack there until jy & joel came at 10pm~
slacked until 11pm then we all go off le~

tmr not gona meet baby :(
i also dont know where to go le~
anyone free?
lols.




today woke up late...
part of the reason is baby never morning call me as promised :(
anyway after that i prepared & went to meet jason & siru for awhile.
ard 3plus i go take bus88 with siru while jason go home.
reach baby's place at 4plus :)

watch him play dota then i also play l4d :)
today i played the map no mercy :)
play half way only... then baby jiu finish his dota le...
so i let him play for me while i use facebook :)
after that we chatted & then went down to buy cheese fries & bubble tea :)
came up & baby say he going to prepare dinner...
he said that the kitchen is out of bounds to me :(
so i stay inside the room & use com lo.
roughly ard 7plus baby jiu done le :)
yummy!
he cooked some stir fried pork, deep fried chicken, cheese tofu & salmon :)
yummy all so nice lo :)
had great dinner :)
after that we watch tv together & also use com :)
ard 10plus baby send me down to wait for cab :)
tmr meeting baby again :)

update last friday 11th sep : 4th candlelight #55 :)
supermeal #56, 14th sep.




ytd forgot to post =.-
reached home too late then lazy to post le~
ytd woke up quite late after that at home rot until afternoon wg came over my place find me.
pei me go round table there slack to wait for jason to come.
slack very long then he haven come =.-
so i asked wg to pei me to interchange to make my ez link card.
after that we took bus101 to ave 8 to ask about my psp thing.
damn expensive sia =.-
so din do after that we walk back round table meet jason.
on the way saw qianhui & her friend~
chat with her a while we jiu go off le.
slack with jason & wg at round table until around 6 plus then jason go home.
me & wg go up my house becos stupid wg say wan use toilet =.-
after that jason came up my house meet us then we go to take mrt.
but last min wg dont wan go =.-
sianz go he go off while me & jason go take mrt to city hall.
walked to suntec then call jy to come out lo.
slacked with him for awhile then pei him go back.
saw a few friends there...
ard 8pm me & jason go marina sq eat...
cos need to wait until 9 pm then jy finish work.
finish eating then we walk back alr 9pm le...
when he finish we go take mrt together back hougang.
each bought a cup of bubbletea after that slacked at round table.
chat until 12mid then jason go home while jy send me up my house :)
actually is i ask him to pei me de cos i scare :P

last night lie on bed still not tired.
slpt at 4.30am in the morning =.-
ltr going out with cousins for sakae at kovan :)
looking forward lo!

will be back posting tonight maybe...

MarilynYuRuiQi

17yrs-old
20.01.92 is her day.
ex-parrian ; 6Respect'o4
ex-hougean ; 4e3'o8.
simei ite ; UQ0904F'09
pampered girl.
& happily attached to her ♥babytoot♥

dennis piay, i ♥ you.

slacking, her past-time,
day-dreaming, her lonely times,
crying, her mood swings time,
emo-ing, her way of killing time,
babytoot, her dearest,
brothers, her precious,
alcohol, her medication,
cigarettes, nvr her addiction.



♥ a part-time job.
♥ no more quarrels with baby.



♥ Dennis babytoot ♥
♥ JasonLiow Brother
♥ JianYong Brother
♥ ShawnChan Brother
♥ Siru Sister
♥ WeiGuang Brother
♥ ShuHui Butterfly Sisters
♥ TanJunHao Butterfly Fans
♥ BCM clique



2009
22/1 : angelboy, imy. :(
15/3 : baby ask me to be his gf :)
21/3 : very 1st supermeal :)
04/4 : 1st candlelight :)
11/4 : 1st 'wont get to see babytoot' day :(
13/4 : couple bag :)
15/4 : 1st mth anni :)
24/4 : couple rings :)
13/6 : bro&sis bbq :)
24/6 : 2nd candlelight :)
08/7 : baby's 17th bday :)
09/8 : 3rd candlelight :)



Friendster :MY FRENSTER
MSN :marilyn_1992@hotmail.com